Start believing that you can change your life, and you will.
The first thing I need to do is help you believe that you can change your life, even before working on taking responsibility for your life. It is more empowering to take responsibility knowing and accepting that you can change it, that you have choices, and that there is so much you can do about it.
You have struggled all these years not because you didn’t know better but because you didn’t believe you could change your life.
There are three primary levels on which all human beings operate: conscious, unconscious, and behavioral.
Conscious level. You can “know” something on your rational or conscious level but still not do it. For example, I know being overweight is unhealthy, but I still carry some extra pounds.
Unconscious level. You unconsciously believe that you have limited choices regarding food and lifestyle, so you eat what gets in front of you, thinking that “people who are fit have better genes, more time, or more money than you.”
Behavioral level. If you think that getting fit is nearly impossible, you won’t do what it takes you to get healthy. If you don’t believe you can achieve it, you won’t try it hard enough. So, you won’t do the things that will help you achieve it. Therefore, you won’t change anything.
It is not information or desire that you lack, but a strategy.
A good strategy will help you develop the right mindset and set of habits to help you reach your goals. AKA, live a happy, healthy, and abundant life.
The idea here is that working on all three levels, conscious, unconscious, and behavioral, simultaneously will make it easier to change. This way, we eliminate the internal conflicts that make you “sabotage” yourself.
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